One thing I love about golf is that everyone is so polite. Because you are often paired with strangers and a round lasts about 4 hours or more, most people are on their best behavior. Because I am an Asian American woman, I have had to endure the occasional unpleasantry of a racist (like the guy who said with surprise upon meeting me, "Oh, you speak English!") or sexist undertone, but not enough to make me stop walking on as a solo on the local golf course. I prepare myself by hoping for the best and reassuring myself that I can always leave a round if things get dicey.
So far, I have not had to do that other than faking a work emergency when I was paired with 2 excruciatingly slow, older women golfers and a guy who reeked so awfully of body odor it could probably be smelled across the Atlantic. But I was very polite about it, never once giving a hint at what I was really thinking.
And so it is with golf course commentary. You'll hear a lot of common phrases that golfers say to each other. Here's what they really mean.
"Good shot" or "Good ball." Your ball went up in the air and landed somewhere in the fairway or on the green. There is an implicit meaning here, as in "Good shot (for you)" and not relative in comparison to say, Tiger Woods. It's polite to utter "Good shot" to your playing companions at least once during the round, just to show that you're considerate enough to be watching their shots, and not texting someone about how you got stuck with some really bad golfers who keep topping the ball.
"Nice shot" or "Niiiice." Your ball went up in the air with a little draw and landed in the fairway or somewhere on the green but not that close to the hole. Note that "Niiiice" is more complimentary than a succinct "Nice shot" which can sometimes come across as envious-sounding depending on how it's said.
"Great shot." Your ball went way up in the air with a nice trajectory, perhaps with a little draw or fade, and landed softly on the green within just feet of the hole. This is usually said when the odds were against you, for example if you were behind a tree or in a bunker (you could also say "Good out" or "Nice out" in this case).
"That's a golf shot." You struck the ball purely and it landed on the green within inches of the hole. This is sometimes accompanied by the "golf clap" which is when you clap slowly and deliberately at the golfer who just made the shot. But the golf clap can sometimes be misconstrued as sarcastic, as it is in the real world. And you probably won’t have time to clap anyway because you should be getting ready for your next shot.
"That'll work." Your ball didn't really go up in the air or maybe it did but not in a pretty way. However, by some stroke of luck, it landed in the fairway or at least not in a hazard. Better to be lucky than good. This phrase is about as close as you’ll hear to an insult when you’re golfing.
"Good putt." Your putt landed close or went in the hole. (Please note that this should only be said after the ball comes to rest. If you say "Good putt" before the ball stops and it doesn't end up in the hole, you have unwittingly uttered the "curse of the early call." Just because the ball looks like it will go in the hole, sometimes it doesn't, and if you said "Good putt" beforehand, you may have actually caused it not to go in with your pre-emptive jinx.)
"Nice try" or "Good effort." Your putt was close but not close enough to say "Good putt." (Please note that "Nice try" should never be said with any hint of sarcasm, as is often the case in the real world.)
"Good thing the hole was there." Your putt made the ball go straight but really fast so if the hole wasn't there, it would end up over the green. Kind of a back-handed compliment that you just got lucky with that putt.
(No comment or complete silence.) Either your shot or your putt was a worm-burner, a shank, a slice, a hook, hit some trees, or was otherwise so bad that everyone remains quietly chastened and humbled that golf is sometimes a very difficult and frustrating game. That's why we golfers have to stay on the bright side and focus on the positives with our commentary, at least among strangers. With hubby, sometimes it's a different story.
