Golfing Like a Rock Star

This week is sort of turning out to be celebrity week on the golf course. First I get randomly paired with the chef and bartender of a celebrity restaurant, then today I got paired with the dad of the drummer in a band whose album just made number one on the Billboard rock music chart today. Of course, I have never heard of this band since I am well over the age of 40, but I am sure my college-age nephew knows who they are. Also in my random foursome was a 70-something retired couple who had just picked up golf in their 60s. It was a relaxed round with upbeat strangers, though I only shot a 98. My handicap index is trending toward 20.1 and I am not exactly happy about it. This season, the allergies have kicked in with a vengeance, so I partly blame the constant distraction of an itchy throat and nasal congestion.

In other news, I have started applying to join a ladies league in earnest. I know I've mentioned joining a women's league before, but now I think I am going to jump in and do it. I sent feelers out to four different leagues, and so far the most appealing group seems to be a Tuesday 9-hole league at a nearby course. I really prefer an 18-hole league, but the one I want to join started their season in April so it may be too late. The Tuesday 9-hole league has a spring coffee kick-off meeting at the end of the month and starts their season in May. I'm going to attend the meeting and check out the membership first to see if I'll fit it. I spoke to the league VP on the phone, and she seemed friendly. She has an Irish accent and said she often walks the course, so if she's representative of the group, they could be my kind of gals. We shall see!

Bugging Out

So it was a pretty fun golfy day. Had a 1:58pm tee time but was at the range by 12:45pm. Accidentally bought a medium bucket of range balls instead of a small but took my time and hit almost all of them. I was golfing solo, and when I got to the starter box, there was not another female to be seen. Fortunately, I was paired with two laid-back hipster twentysomethings, who worked as the executive chef and bartender at a certain celebrity farm-to-table diner concept in the city. The chef was a good golfer but the bartender, who had grown up golfing, hadn't picked up a club for 5 years. I told him, "It's just like riding a bicycle," which as everyone knows, it really isn't.

A couple holes in, Bea rode up and joined us. She knew I had an afternoon tee time, and had just finished playing a morning 18 at another course. She played like crap because she hadn't eaten for two days, or so she said. I think Bea tends to exaggerate sometimes.

Anyway, I played like crap too. I was playing long, but pulled drives and 3-putts gave me trouble. Overall, though, it was a fun day of fair-to-mediocre golf. The worst part was once I got home. I went to take a shower and took out my contacts like a usually do, which leaves me practically blind. After the water got running, I stepped in and was just settling into the steam, when I looked down and saw a large fuzzy black spot on the shower floor. I kicked at it and it barely moved, so I leaped out of the shower, grabbed my eyeglasses and looked back down into the shower to see the biggest stinkbug I have ever seen in my life. It must have been at least an inch long. It looked like a miniature baby turtle that had been flipped onto its back and couldn't right itself. I frantically went for the toilet paper but my wet hands made the roll spin in futility like a slot machine wheel that turns up all lemons. Finally I got enough paper off the roll to make a wad, which I used to bundle up that stinkbug like a swaddled baby, which I then unceremoniously tossed into the toilet bowl and flushed. I'm sorry if I offend any insect-lovers or if there's some news channel in a parallel insect world that is breaking news about the latest flushing-an-insect-down-the-toilet scandal, but that is what happened in my bathroom tonight.

Moral of the story: After a long day of golf in nice weather, leave on the contact lenses in the shower!

An All-You-Can-Golf Buffet

So my favorite public course has a special deal going this season. It’s $199 a month for unlimited play on weekday afternoons, with cart, plus discounts if you buy more than a month’s worth at a time. It was an offer I couldn’t resist, so I bought two month’s worth. I’ve played yesterday and today, and if it weren’t for cold and rain in the forecast the rest of this week, I would be playing more. I already have tee times lined up for four out of five days next week. Fortunately, work is slow this year, so I've got plenty of time for golf.

I started scoring, and it's been nothing spectacular (97, 102, 99). But I haven't been trying too hard yet. I'm really enjoying just swinging the club as fast as I can without hurting myself. I think my monster drives are coming back. The other day I pounded a tee shot down the middle of the fairway about 206 yards. My 3-wood has been scooting 170-plus yards in a reliable way. I've been making par 4's in two and par 5's in 3 like you're supposed to. This morning, at the range, I was able to hit my driver so it rolled out to 200 yards. This is the first time I've ever done that in my whole life. 

Of course, my putting is a mess and my sand game needs work, but I'm just getting started. Time to break open a new box of pink balls and let the good times roll!