Torrey Pines North Course aka "Kikuyu, I Hardly Knew You"

It has been while since my last post. Hubby and I didn't get away for vacation till after summer was almost over. But in mid-September, we finally made it out west for 9 days of rest and relaxation, 5 of which were spent golfing.

The day after we arrived, we wasted no time and headed straight to Torrey Pines North Course. We'd played Torrey Pines South Course earlier this year, so we followed the same strategy for getting on: arrive at the course around 9am and get on the walk-on list. Those of you who live in the rest of the country, where democracy and equality are the general rule, may not know that there is such a thing as the Republic of Torrey Pines, which is run by localocracy, so San Diego residents get preferential treatment regarding tee times and fees. Outsiders pay more than twice as much as insiders to play in the land of the Torrey Pine. For example, at TP North, the non-resident greens fee is $100 for weekday mornings, versus $40 for residents. At TP South, out-of-towners pay $183, compared to the $61 pittance for locals.

Anyway, hubby and I know it's worth the splurge, since Torrey Pines is one of the best kept public tracks in the country and a famed course for many a tournament. As we were waiting in line, I overheard the non-resident couple in front of us in line telling the starter they had a tee time made by their San Diego resident "friend," but he woke up sick and couldn't play. The starter didn't fall for that old trick and bumped them to the walk-on list since their San Diegan amigo was required to play with them if he made the tee time.

Once it was our turn, we were able to get an 11am tee time with no problem. (And I made sure we had an actual tee time, to avoid the confusion we'd gone through at the South Course.) We had plenty of time to eat a good breakfast with eggs and sausage and toast, and return to the course to warm up at the range. I had forgotten how useless the range was for testing our club distances, so I just aimlessly hit balls with the set of clubs I keep out west, trying to get used to the feel again. When I golf and travel, half the battle is practicing with unfamiliar clubs.

We arrived at the first tee about 10 minutes early. Then it was hurry up and wait. Turned out, one of the local ladies leagues was having their tournament that day, and things had already gotten slow. Hubby and I were paired with two guys, one who was amiable but taciturn, and reminded me of a blonder, chubbier Emilio Estevez. The other guy, a tall Anthony Bourdain lookalike, at first reminded me of the hot-air-filled shaggy local whom hubby and I played with at the South Course, because he had the same nose-in-the-air, know-it-all demeanor. But it turned out that he was actually quite the golf course expert, in terms of course architecture. He and hubby name-dropped Fazios and Doaks and Dyes till my eye glazed over, and I turned my attention to the ladies on the first hole ahead.

There were 3 groups waiting to tee off in front of us, and since they were all hitting from the reds, I had the chance to see the shots to aim for, and to avoid. Not that this helped me one bit, because when we finally got to tee off, I hit a slice into the right rough. I pranced right up to the ball, and seeing that it was sitting nice and high up on the grass, I felt confident that I could just whack it back into play with my 3-wood.

Boy was I wrong. The rough at Torrey Pines North is what they call kikuyu grass, and it's not the same kind of rough they had on the South course earlier this year. This kikuyu is nasty stuff, which is why you'll hear golf tournament announcers go on and on about it on TV. If you've never played in kikuyu rough, imagine thick, tangled hair that's been teased up to look all neat and smooth on top. Now imagine trying to get a comb through it. The comb would just get stuck in the tangled mess and not budge. This is exactly what happened to my 3-wood when I tried to hit out of the kikuyu like a normal shot. My club got wedged in the grass and the ball skittered maybe 10 yards, into more kikuyu. The next shot, my ball flew diagonally across the fairway, where I learned the kikuyu grass is even meaner on the other side. By the time I holed out of that first par 5, I had an 8 on my scorecard. It was a hard lesson in kikuyu management, and the cardinal rule is "Keep it on the fairway."

Fortunately, I parred the next hole, thus proving to my playmates that I am indeed capable of making par, which is all you need to do so you can relax and enjoy the scenery.

Some holes at Torrey Pines North look a lot like those at Torrey Pines South, especially the ones that face the ocean. A ranger had told us that the kikuyu is "the course's only defense," but I would include the greens that were harder to read than a Joyce novel, and the bunkers, the sand consistency of which reminded me of hardened ice cream with a fuzzy layer of freezer burn. To conserve strength, I didn't bother trying to full-swing it out and instead used the chip-out method that Seri had taught me.

And you'll see the famed paragliders all along the coast. If you play with a local, they will surely explain how the beach below is a topless beach, and they will make a joke about how you can walk along the edge and sightsee.

And Torrey Pines North has plenty of torrey pines. I think these might be young torrey pines. Don't they look like they're holding hands?

Here is a daunting hole, with a fairway sloping left and doglegging right, and nothing but scrub and ocean on the left. My slice would come in handy here. But as I recall, I pulled my tee shot and lost a ball. In the end, I shot a 108. I did, however, make par on three holes, thus proving that I am indeed capable, when conditions are right, of making par.