Living in the 80s

To quote that song by Killing Joke, “Ahhhhhhh….. eighties! I’m living in the eighties!”

Yeah, that’s right. I broke 90 and took home a score in the 80s. This happened yesterday at Fox Hollow. I had a 9:56 am tee time with Seri and Bea. They were both running late so we got pushed back a couple of minutes. I waited for them at the starter booth, watching as Seri meandered up from the club house, carrying her thermos of coffee and a giant Styrofoam cup of ice. Bea was still rubbing sleep out of her eyes as she strolled up from the parking lot, carrying her golf bag and a pillow to use as her seat cushion on the golf cart.

Neither of them seemed very excited to play. “Honestly, I don’t like this course. It’s so boring,” Seri said. I was a little insulted, since this is my “home” course. But I knew it was because Seri preferred the city courses, where the “better” golfers play. I looked around at the vibrant fall colors on display and thought Seri must be blind.

On the first hole, Seri landed her approach shot right into a bunker, and I said, “It’s because you said this course is boring. The golf gods are punishing you.” Bea said, “Yeah, they also think you need some bunker practice.” By now, we are familiar enough with each other to give and take a little ribbing.

So the round progressed as usual, with Seri and Bea riding in their golf cart and chatting away in Korean, and me walking solo with my pull-cart. For the most part, I was left out of the conversation, and occasionally I actually felt left out. But mostly, I felt focused on my game. I showed Seri and Bea my new driver and 3-wood, and they oohed and aahed politely. A few weeks ago, Seri told me I don’t need a new driver since I can hit far with my old driver. And by “far,” she meant farther than her. With my new driver, I was hitting a lot farther than her, and I don’t think she liked it one bit. I even hit farther than Bea a few times, but that was because Bea was probably exhausted from staying up late watching Korean soap operas on TV.

While the new driver has given me reliable distance if I can hit it well, I think the club that has really made a difference for me is the 3-wood. I can hit it 160 yards or more, and if I can land the green with it, that can save me from a risky wedge shot. From the new driver and 3-wood, I gained anywhere from 10 to 30 yards combined, and it all added up to a lot more confidence. My irons stayed true, and I parred all the par 3s except one. Even my putter behaved, and while I three-putted 5 times, I one-putted 3 times to help make up for it.

In the end, I shot an 87. This is an all-time low score since I shot a 90. Since that day back in June, I have been dabbling in scores ranging anywhere from the mid-90s to as high as 109. But today, 87 is my lowest score ever. It probably helped that the weather was unseasonably warm, with a high of 82. Yup, the 80s is good all around. And I really hope the eighties is here to stay. Until I break 80. Then it will be all about the seventies. That was a good decade too.

Fall Colors

In the fall, the rough doesn't seem so rough...

The Fitting: Take Two

Buying new golf clubs is a bit like buying a car. There are a zillion choices and no matter what you buy, it will almost surely lose value as soon as you drive it off the lot.

Last week, I booked an appointment with a master fitter at Golfsmith. I’m not sure what the prerequisites are to be a master fitter, but age is clearly not a requirement because the master fitter assigned to me looked like he just graduated high school. I will call him Master Fetcher because the one thing he excelled at was fetching the clubs I wanted to try.

He directed me to one of the hitting bays in the back of the store so I could warm up. The hitting bay is a dark room with black cloth draped on the walls. It reminded me of a bat cave. This would be fine if, like a bat, I had the ability to echolocate the ball, but since I don’t, the dungeon-like hitting bay seems ill-suited to its task. The giant screen with a cartoonish video-game image of a fairway casts just enough artificial light to make you aware that you are definitely not out playing on a sunny golf course.

I had brought my current set of Ping G2s and warmed up by hitting driver. The launch monitor tracked my first hit at 174 yards. Just about average for me. A couple of weeks ago, I had gone in there with the same club and hit 184. Then I tried a men’s Ping i20 and got 196 with it. I have always suspected that golf store launch monitors are not that accurate, which is why I made sure to bring my current clubs. At the very least, I would have a baseline to compare new clubs with.

To continue the car analogy, I prefer Ping the way some people prefer Toyota or Honda. They are well-made and reliable, and they don’t advertise with crazy gimmicks about rocketing balls or amping up speed. My current Ping G2 has 15.5 degrees of loft, and Ping doesn’t even make drivers with that much loft anymore. It has a ladies flex shaft, which my husband said is probably too much flex for my current swing speed, which has been tested at around 77 mph.

I asked Master Fetcher if I could try the Ping i20, but this time I didn’t get anywhere close to 196 yards with it. Master Fetcher said the i20 is kind of a “player’s driver” and instead suggested I try the Ping Serene, which is Ping’s new line of ladies clubs. I tried it but didn’t get great results with it either. I told him I wanted to try some more clubs with senior flex or men’s flex. I really shouldn't say "men's flex" since that term is gender-biased. Technically, it is just "regular flex." Although that term implies that women and seniors are irregular. Ah well, what can you do?

I actually had a lot of questions about shaft flex but Master Fetcher didn’t seem to be able to answer any of them. I had heard that the Ping Serene driver comes in a choice of two shafts, and I asked him to explain the difference. He said Ping Serene only comes in one shaft choice. I knew he was wrong, so at that point, I realized I was on my own in the bat cave.

For the rest of the fitting, I focused purely on distance. Theoretically, any of the newer drivers, with longer shafts and those 460cc heads that look like portabello mushrooms compared to the little cremini head on my 400cc Ping G2, should benefit me in terms of distance. But in reality this just isn’t true. I tried the clubs that promise more distance, like the TaylorMade Rocketballz and the TaylorMade Burner. I tried them in ladies flex, senior flex, and men’s flex. But they didn’t do me enough good to merit spending big bucks just to hit a few yards more.

Then I tried the men’s Ping G20 in 10.5 degree loft. I got more distance, and Master Fetcher said it went straighter for me too. So I bought it. I had been hitting balls for two hours already and I was mentally exhausted. I didn’t want to try any more clubs. I also bought the Ping G20 3-wood, since I need something on the fairway that can hit longer than my old 7-wood. It helped that the Ping G20 series happened to be on sale.

Since then, I’ve played with the new clubs twice. I am getting about 10-15 more yards on driver, and the new 3-wood has helped tremendously in making greens in regulation. Or at least it would if I could hit straighter. I still think I need some practice so I will have to hit the range.

I do think the men’s grips feel a bit big in my hands. But I didn’t think to ask Master Fetcher about it (not that he could have helped). Also, according to the Ping G20 driver flex chart, my swing speed is on the low end of the scale for the regular flex shaft. But this is something I can work on. I’d rather be inspired to rise to the level of my equipment than feel like I will outgrow my equipment again.

The bottom line is, new equipment with more recent technology is actually helping my game. I plan on going back for the G20 irons, but that will have to wait a few weeks. I'm hoping there will be another price drop soon. In the meantime, anyone want an old cremini head Ping G2?

Pinball Wizard

It happened again. I shot an impeccable 8-iron on a par 3 and landed within birdie distance from the hole. It was a busy day on the course, and there were two guys behind me waiting to tee off. They saw my awesome shot and one of them said, "Hey, have you taken lessons?" When I said I'd taken a few lessons at Golf Galaxy, the guy said, "I'm headed there right after this round!" They proceeded to compliment my swing and seemed truly in awe that such a seemingly unlikely suspect such as myself could pull off such a perfect shot.

But then I decided to come clean and confess what had happened just a few holes earlier.

I was playing with Bea and Dodi and it was a relaxed, jovial round. I wasn't doing great but I wasn't doing awful either. We approached a short par 4, one I had played many times, sometimes making it on in two, more often not. That day, for some reason, some wires crossed in my brain and I pulled my tee shot left, into the trees.

I heard the ball go "thunk" on a branch and watched where it landed, somewhere to the left. I didn't panic, since I saw that I might have a clear shot through the trees so I could gain some forward movement onto the fairway. I set up to the ball and took aim. But the wires crossed again and the ball flew left, again, this time colliding straight into a metal utility box. The ball bounced back toward me and I flinched as I saw it land to my left, just a few yards in front of me. "Well, that's some forward movement at least," I reassured myself. And I took aim toward the green, again thinking I had a clear shot.

The reality is I had no such thing, and it must have been the crossed wires that were causing me to see things that weren't there. I hit the ball and it went into the trees again, bounced off a branch, and landed even further left of the fairway. At this point, as I was walking to find my ball, I noticed that the leaves had begun to change color, it is October after all, and oh, how pretty is in on a golf course in the fall!

Once I found the ball, I took aim, this time at the flag on the green, thinking, "Hey, it's close enough, I might make it." But I didn't. Instead, my ball ricocheted off yet another tree and plopped straight down like a ripe apple, onto the tee ground of another hole! There were four old dudes standing there, and as the little ball fell among them, they jumped and jostled as if there was an earthquake going on. When I arrived on the scene, I was nervously laughing and apologizing, and they looked at me like I was just another dumb broad trying to play golf. Well, yeah, at that moment, I was, "trying" being the operative word. One guy puffed at his cigar and squinted at me with a fake smile and said, "You can hit your shot after we've all teed off."

I waited patiently and watched them all hit perfect tee shots, and then waited some more, for what seemed like a good long time, till they got in their carts and got out of earshot and eyeshot. Then I looked down at my ball and assessed the situation. The only thought that came to mind was "Hmm, I think I have a clear shot to the green." So I took the shot, call it the Phil Mickelson shot or the Bubba Watson shot, or whichever crazy player shot that's supposed to look impossible but land within inches of the hole. Except mine landed in the bunker, way right of the hole.

Bea and Dodi were standing at the edge of the green, in deep conversation. They had each made it on in two, so it seemed like they had enough time to debate the existence of God while I was trying to catch up. Their balls were poised near the cup, but they politely decided to wait till I got on before taking their final putts.

From the bunker, I got out of the sand with two strokes and took a single putt to hole out.

Boy, was I glad to hear that ball finally go into the hole. Somehow I was surprised it only took 8 shots, since it seemed like an eternity to get there. But that's the way it is with golf. Wires cross. Time stands still. And sometimes being bad at golf is as much fun as being good.

Seri’s Blasphemous Bunker Tip

The common wisdom is that bunker shots are an explosion. You’re supposed to aim for the sand an inch or two behind the ball, swing hard, and blast the sand, and your ball, out of the bunker. The problem with that, for me anyway, is that any obstacle in front of my weak arms will slow down my swing speed considerably. I lack so much upper body strength that I might lose 10 yards for each grain of sand in the way of my ball.

I told Seri about this. She is even more petite than me, but she handles bunkers with ease. She said, "I'm going to tell you my secret." And then she advised me to think of bunker shots just like chip shots off a tight lie. Swing gently, and hit the ball first, not the sand. And follow through as you would with a chip shot. If you’re in a “fried egg” situation, where the ball is embedded, this is a bit more difficult, but you can still try and hit the ball first, but let the club head stop in the sand, as if you’re hitting out of thick rough.

Next time I found myself in a bunker, I tried it. Sure enough, it worked. But like anything, it takes practice. I still try and hit bunker shots the "normal" way when I can, but for those times when I have already taken two or three swings and can't get myself out of the sand the normal way, I relax and try Seri's method and it usually works. Nice to have a secret weapon when the going gets rough out there.

The Perfect Golf Push Cart

Over the summer, I got used to "riding the wagon" because I didn't want to risk heat stroke by exposing myself to the blazing sun without a roof to duck under. Now that temperatures are falling again, I too have fallen "off the wagon." Last week, I called on Dodi, a fellow aficianado of perambulatory golf, to go for a walk, hopefully not spoiled.

We were matched up with two Korean guys who looked to be in their 30s. As the only girl in the group, I felt free of the usual air of competition since I was the only one hitting from the red tees. Guys tend to be less chatty on the course, so the quiet helped me focus, and it felt great to be out in the open, with only a few pesky stinkbugs to contend with.

I made one very memorable birdie on a par 3. The tee grounds were staggered so I was alone on the tier for the red and yellow markers, and I hit my 7-wood so pure it landed on the green and bounced to within 6 inches of the hole. Knowing my putting lately, the birdie wasn't a sure thing, but I was able to make the short putt for a glorious little 2.

The course felt longer than usual with my heavy old Bag Boy golf cart in tow. I have often thought about getting a new golf cart for walking, but I am still not sure if any of the current offerings on the market would meet my needs.

Here's just a short list of what I'd want in my perfect golf cart:

- remote control with simple voice commands (Stop. Go. Find my ball.)
- teflon-coated wheels to resist sticky clumps of mud and goose poop
- built-in laser range finder
- built-in water dispenser, coffee dispenser, and PEZ dispenser
- pop-up mini tray table for roaming picnic capability
- cup holder
- half-unwrapped granola bar holster
- iPad holder
- weight under 3 pounds
- one-click opening and closing
- car trunk footprint smaller than a shag bag
- can function as a shag bag when not in use as a push cart

It would also be nice if my dream cart came in cool colors like lime green or hot pink. But that's probably asking too much.